Open post

[undwarfy]

Come here for musebox stuff, PSLs, or post-captcha meme continuation. Put the verse or PSL or whatever in the subject line plz.

Hit this up if you know me and have an idea. Hit me up if you don't know me, we've never interacted IC or OOC, and you have an idea. Hit this up for any and all reasons. I welcome everything.

Comments

[undwarfy]

You mean other than the fantastically expensive illegally smuggled wine we're drinking?

[Eyebrow raise.]

Drink up, Chuckles. I'm too sober for price negotiation.

[lonesomewanderer]

This, [ he gestures with his glass between the two of them ] is a drink shared among companions.

[ Because despite his disagreements with Varric's opinions on dwarven politics, he was one of the few within the Inquisition's Inner Circle that he respected more. He gives another gesture of his glass before taking a purposeful sip from it. ]

And how many drinks deep will I need to be before we begin?

[undwarfy]

[Varric notices the "companions" instead of the more formal "coworkers" or "allies," and he gives a small nod of acknowledgement.]

Oh, I think that all depends on you, Solas.

[It's really very sincere. How drunk Solas needs to be depends entirely on Solas.]

Buuuuut if it makes you feel better, I might agree to do something mildly embarrassing or uncharacteristic afterwards, provided the stories are sufficiently scandalizing.

[lonesomewanderer]

And here I was beginning to think you forgot my name, [ he jokes dryly.

He had to earn the nickname Chuckles, after all. How the Inquisition puts up with him is a miracle, but where else are you going to find an expert in the Fade. Either way, he will continue to nurse his drink as he becomes more at ease. ]

I was unaware there was anything left for you to be embarrassed about with the life you have lived.

[undwarfy]

Maybe we should aim for "entertainment" instead of "embarrassment", then.

[A mischievous glint as he sips his wine.]

Any ideas for my next dramatic reading off the grand stairway?

[That huge fuck-off stairway where the Inquisitor was crowned and from which they frequently jump]

I'm thinking something involving a dreamy curly-haired Knight-Lieutenant and his forbidden love with a Kirkwall mage. A thrilling tale of two strapping men and the passions they share.

[S i p. Let that mental image percolate a bit.]

[lonesomewanderer]

[ Oh, he likes where this is headed already. He shifts, body posture fully attentive to what Varric is already weaving for him. He could imagine it now--

Varric standing tall, or as much as a dwarf could, at the top of the stairs and gesturing wildly as he shared such a tale. ]

Ah yes, of course. A templar and mage in love. The chantry would be more offended by that affront to their sensibilities than the idea that anyone would lay with a spirit.

[ What with their interest in mages fearing templars and templars keeping mages under lock and key. ]

Would they run from the Tower tower? Or the templar forced to hunt his lover down?

[undwarfy]

I don't know, but I do know the Knight-Lieutenant has curly blonde hair and hails from a small town in Ferelden.

[Varric's eyes sparkle. Messing with Cullen will never not be funny.]

[lonesomewanderer]

[ His brows go up as he smirks slightly. Varric would find no argument there. ]

I did not think he would be your first choice for subject matter. How quickly do you believe you can get him to try to quiet your tale?

[undwarfy]

Oh, I don't know. How long will it take him to realize he's the bottom in the story?

[Cullen is so ~strapping~ and unnecessarily masculine that the thought just tickles.

He takes another drink.]

[lonesomewanderer]

Given you are the one weaving the tale? [ He tilts his head to the side, pretending to ponder the question before shrugging. Cullen would no doubt turn red. As a former templar, Cullen was a man Solas did not interact with often. ]

At the same moment he realizes the true nature of it.

[undwarfy]

[Snort.]

That mental image will keep me warm at night.

[He spreads his arms out invitingly.]

So, Chuckles, what do you think? Fair compensation for a few really juicy stories? Don't go skimping on the naughty details.